Why is it that we find it easier to move through life in a place of fear and uncertainty, instead of trust and abundance?
Sometimes beginning is the hardest part. When it comes to painting, starting is the hardest part. When it comes to a new venture, starting is the hardest part. When it comes to writing, starting is the hardest part.
There is a place of uncertainty that makes you feel uncomfortable. And we don’t like to feel uncomfortable. Do you ever stop to notice how you are feeling in these moments at the beginning? Are you palms sweaty, is your heart racing, do you just want to turn around and walk away?
We often forget that EVERYONE has started out at the beginning at some point in their lives.
A runner doesn’t start off running marathons, they work up to it.
A good singer doesn’t pop out of the womb singing harmony, no, they take lessons starting at a very young age.
Think of all the beginnings you had in life …
Learning to crawl
Learning to walk
Learning to ride a bike
Learning to read
Learning to write
Learning to paint
Learning to draw
Learning to play an instrument
Learning to play team sports
Learning a new job
Learning a new program
Welcome to being a student of life. In my belief, this list should never stop growing. So why is it as adults that we find starting so hard? Is it fear of creating something bad? Is it lack of confidence or will power? What is it?
For me, the beginning of any new painting can be scary.
I imagine myself walking down a long dark hall, or walking into a dark room with no light where it takes my eyes time to adjust to the darkness. Eventually they do, and while the room still appears dark, I am able to spot shadows and silhouettes of objects in the room. It suddenly feels less scary, and I become less apprehensive about the darkness.
Most of my paintings start out messy, uncertain, and confusing. Big globs of paint cover the canvas or wood, with no hint of what to do next. Sure there are times where I have a absolute image of what I want to create in my mind, but most times, I just need to paint, so I begin.
Once I get that first layer down, I feel a bit less apprehensive, just like I did in the dark room. Usually unsure of what to do next, I just keep going, pushing through the mess. I continue to add layer, upon layer of paint. It’s not long before I realize that a foundation of something good is being formed.
So what if today you started that thing you’ve been putting off? What would happen if you showed up, even if for only five minutes, how would that feel?
Whether it’s painting, drawing, running on the treadmill, yoga, singing, dancing, sitting in silence. Whatever it is that you’ve been wanting to do, but putting off, just start!
And once you do, notice how it feels. Do you feel a rush of joy fill your bones? Do lose yourself in concentration? Are you muscles sore?
Lean in to the feeling, savor, embrace the moment. More importantly, trust how you are feeling - you just might be surprised.
xo, Jenn